I am an American citizen by birth, but I am still trying to figure out exactly what this means. I have sat through my share of history courses, partaken in my country's holidays and even chose American Studies as my major, but I'm still not completely satisfied.Whenever I think I have America figured out, something always seems to backfire. Most recently, this backfire came in the form of a dissent in the June 26 Lawrence v. Texas decision.

For those of you unfamiliar, this landmark decision made by the U.S. Supreme Court obliterated the Texas anti-sodomy law, which banned homosexuals from performing sexual acts even in the privacy of their own homes. Essentially, this decision established that gays, along with everyone else, "are entitled to respect for their private lives," as Justice Anthony Kennedy stated in his majority opinion.

When I first read about this landmark decision in the paper this past summer, I was elated. Rights for homosexuals - what a wonderful thing. But my elation was cut short by a rather disappointing revelation.

It is the year 2003 and people are still fighting for basic human rights in America - the haven of freedom and equality. Not to say that I am blind to the discrimination that exists in this country, but I do admit to being unaware that discrimination is institutionalized by the government - in this case the anti-sodomy law.

As an American citizen, it is hard for me to accept, much less understand, how this law was not abolished years ago. As a country, we have established the precedent that if my fellow citizen prefers those of the same sex, he is not my equal. He cannot marry under the law and, until this summer, couldn't even enjoy the basic right to do what he wants in his personal life. And all these limitations are, or were, fostered by the law of our land!

Looking back on our history, it is sad how predictable our country can be when it comes to discrimination. There's always someone. Native Americans, blacks, women and Jews - the list could go on and on. But I thought by now we were past discrimination via formal laws allowing it. I now know I was wrong.

But what struck me even more than the anti-sodomy law even existing was the opinion of Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, who not only opposed the majority decision, but gave a sarcastic - even vitriolic - dissent.

Not only did he accuse the court's majority of having "largely signed on to the so-called homosexual agenda" (whatever that is), but he went further with his words. Most Americans, Scalia warned, "do not want persons who openly engage in homosexual conduct as partners in their business, as scout-masters for their children, as teachers in their children's schools, or as boarders in their homes."

So much for the land of equality. If the highest enforcers of the law don't agree with or protect basic human rights, than we can't expect the rest of America to do so either. It's time we set a stronger moral example.

Naturally, I could not muse over this recent decision without looking back on the Civil Rights movement of the 1960s. The two plights are strangely similar. Of course it is sexual orientation and not skin color that is the subject right now, but the two battles raise similar questions about our morals and ethics as a country.

As much as I fear for America's future, and as much as I sometimes wonder what being an American citizen really means, I still have faith that much like the Civil Rights movement, we will be able to transcend this form of discrimination.

Perhaps what I can offer to myself as the best definition of what it is to be an American citizen is the ambiguity of this country. I still have to figure out much of what America is. Maybe that's because it's the land of constant change.

I am confident that in the future, we will be able to look back on this fight against homosexual discrimination as just another part of history. Although I loathe the dissent that came out of the Lawrence decision, I know that it is only the minority decision for a reason; the majority of Americans are supporters of human rights and I have a deep and abiding faith that this majority will continue to grow.