When crushing is stalking
Talking with a friend about old relationships, sex and guys in general and we got to the subject of stalking. Jokingly, we both denied ever doing that to a guy, but then we looked at each other seriously and confessed to being a victim of that same practice.After I told her about the crush I had all freshman year, which I followed to almost every party, she told me about this guy she was obsessed with back in high school whose number, screen name, home phone number and address she had in her possession all while he barely knew she existed.
Yes, it's true. Female stalkers exist and in larger numbers than you might think. Usually it stems from a one-night-stand where too much happens: you don't really know the other person too well and, afterwards, they just seem to be everywhere you go. It is more likely that you unconsciously changed your usual morning pattern to catch a glimpse of him each day. Of course, it is not always the result of a one-night-stand, but one intimate night can absolutely make you want to see that certain person again.
Now don't panic; this is nothing to be ashamed about. People become unconscious stalkers every day. You meet someone you can't get enough of and start making the effort to be where the object of your affection is at all times. Suddenly, everyday "Hello, how are yous?" are interpreted as deeper and more meaningful and become the highlights of your day.
These conversations, while short, are then obsessively analyzed over a pint of Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey ice cream involving only your closest circle of friends...or whoever happens to be the closest in proximity to you at the time.
"What did he mean when he said, 'I'll see you later?' Was he trying to say he wanted to see me later or was it just a general 'see-you-later' because there is a party tonight and I think he will be there..." and so on and so forth. OK, so maybe this behavior is a reason to be ashamed, but hey, it happens to the best of us.
People are notorious in their desire to be noticed in that special way. Conversations and eating lunch with this special someone in Usdan constitutes an occasion for fireworks and a full band. Having a drunken make-out session at a party in the Mods means you are now engaged. All at once, you are now in a relationship; unfortunately, the other half of you has no clue about his new situation. You just know he will figure it out sometime and-in the meantime-you will enjoy your wonderful new "relationship."
Of course, there are the more unpleasant side-effects of stalking- especially if the attention becomes very obvious to your other half. It makes people uncomfortable, fidgety and even downright upset at certain points. Calling someone more than 23 times a day definitely qualifies you as a stalker. Whether you are in a relationship or not, asking him where he is, who he's with and what he's doing every 10 minutes is also probably not a good idea.
Hopefully, in those situations you have a good, close friend who can tell you how creepy you're becoming and help you break the bad habit you've formed. If not, you'll get the picture when they change their cell number, address and last name and enter the witness protection program. Until that has happened, make sure you double-check those reservations for two you made at a five-star restaurant after your crush said, "dinner sometime would be cool."
Buy yourself some flowers instead.
Please note All comments are eligible for publication in The Justice.