Correction appended.

Zephry Wright ’17 narrates as the curtain comes up to reveal a bucket of oatmeal. As comical and out-of-the-ordinary as this sounds, it is a typical opening of a Boris’ Kitchen show. This past Friday and Saturday, Boris’ Kitchen, Brandeis’ sketch comedy troupe, put on their final show of the year, entitled “Boris’ Kitchen Presents: The Greatest Story Ever Mold.” The show was co-directed by Yaznil Baez ’16 and Jason Kasman ’16, assistant directed by Sarah Duffett ’17 and produced by Wright. For a change from their usual shows, they featured a live band on the stage with their performers.

The “story” consisted of 20 sketches, all of which were written by Brandeis students. The first sketch was entitled “Town Hall” and featured most of the members of the troupe, many of whom were scattered throughout the audience. The sketch portrayed an election for town hall president, with Duffett playing a responsible and qualified candidate and Ben Astrachan ’19 playing Sparky the Clown, who is running against Duffett.

Several of the troupe members in the audience asked questions to the two candidates. Whenever Duffett tried to answer a question legitimately, Raphael Stigliano ’18, who was portraying Anderson Cooper, cut her off with a buzzer after a few seconds and proceeded to say that it was Sparky’s turn to speak. Sparky gave humorous answers and Stigliano never cut him off. That caused the audience to go wild.

There were two sketches that were particularly popular among the crowd. The first featured Duffett and Ayelet Schrek ’17 portraying a couple going out to dinner for their anniversary. Schrek’s character, Craig, was a little indecisive about what to order, so he asked the waiter (Mira Garin ’19) for a suggestion. The waiter, Jimmy, suggested “the chunk,” which he described as a chunk of meat covered in blood that was to be eaten without utensils. Craig was hesitant, but Mark, Duffett’s character, convinced Craig that if he asked the waiter for a suggestion, he must order it. Craig ended up ordering the chunk, and the rest of the scene revolved around him pretending he had been eating the chunk while Jimmy was not looking.

When Jimmy returned and exclaimed that Craig must be a very slow eater, Craig burst into tears and exclaimed he is a vegetarian and all that he wanted was a garden salad. Jimmy then burst into tears over the fact that he thought no one liked him as a waiter. Garin’s portrayal of the sensitive waiter was very humorous and enjoyable, while Duffett and Schrek did a great job playing the hilarious couple.

Another sketch was somewhat of a follow-up to the restaurant sketch. It started almost exactly the same way, this time with Wright and Stigliano portraying a couple going out to dinner, with Garin again portraying a waiter. All of the dialogue was nearly identical to the other sketch, including Garin’s remarks as a waiter. However, Dan Hirschfield ’16, a special guest from the TBA improv troupe, entered the back of the theater portraying Abraham Lincoln. A few times throughout the sketch, we heard Lincoln being shot at by a gun and screaming in pain. The waiter continuously told Lincoln to be quiet so we can “finish the sketch.”

This plot created a hilarious contrast to a sketch that the audience at first perceived as being very similar to the other one. There was also additional humor added to the plot in the restaurant — for example, when Wright and Stigliano received their sandwiches from the waiter, they took bites and then asked the waiter “Can we get some food with this?” Garin in response brought them a box of napkins, which Wright and Stigliano started to devour.

Other notable sketches were “Child Therapy,” in which Schrek was a teacher in a room of small children — Wright, Garin, Yael Matlow ’18 and Deesha Patel ’16 —and offered them advice for their unusual issues, and a sketch with the entire troupe telling a story that mocked DCL.

“The Greatest Story Ever Mold” was a fantastic effort from Boris’ Kitchen, presenting lots of hilarious sketches. They provided many laughs that were much needed for the stressed student community. 

An earlier version of this article incorrectly stated that Zephry Wright '17 appeared in costume as a bowl of oatmeal at the start of the show. In fact, Wright narrated as the curtain rose and an actual bucket appeared on the stage.