As the film adaption of the 2016 Colleen Hoover novel “It Ends With Us” rolled into theaters, social media became flooded with rumors of cast drama, product marketing, and clips of actress Blake Lively telling audiences to “grab your friends, wear your florals” and flock to the theaters. Given this marketing, I was not sure what to expect when I walked into the cinema. Nevertheless, as the movie ended, I stared straight into the screen displaying the end credits. I could not believe how fast my heart was pounding, how many tears were streaming down my face. This movie was too personal and too real for too many of us. 

Given the heavy topics of the piece, the movie was advertised somewhat carelessly, causing audiences to misconstrue the true focus of the film. I, however, want to bring the attention back to the film’s focus on domestic violence. After watching the film, I believe “It Ends With Us” did a great job of depicting a brutally honest picture of why people, especially women, stay in abusive relationships. 

The movie opens with us seeing Lily Bloom, the main character, going to her father’s funeral in the small town where she grew up. We catch glimpses of Lily’s dad abusing her mom and how Lily was always too afraid to stand up to him. It is during this time that Lily meets Ryle, a neurosurgeon who lives in Boston, the same city Lily plans on moving to. 

From the first moment Ryle walks into Lily’s life, there are signs of him having violent tendencies. The first sign of his violence appears when he walks onto a balcony and kicks a chair in front of him out of anger. A few months after that initial encounter, Ryle and Lily meet again when Ryle’s sister, Allysa, starts working for Lily’s floral shop in Boston. From that point forward, Ryle and Lily, slowly but surely, build a romantic relationship. 

The first incident of abuse in Lily and Ryle’s relationship occurs when they are dating. Ryle is making a breakfast casserole for Lily when the oven starts smoking. As Ryle goes to the kitchen to check on the dish, Lily playfully teases him, saying she knew he’d burn the casserole. We see Ryle opening the oven, accidentally burning his hand and dropping the casserole. In the process, he accidently hits Lily’s face, who is standing beside him. Ryle then frantically starts to apologize, telling Lily that it was an accident and asking her if she is okay. However, during a later flashback of this very scene, the audience is shown the reality of the situation instead of how Lily perceived it. The audience sees Ryle hit Lily out of anger; it was not an accident. 

The second incident of domestic abuse occurs after Lily and Ryle get married. Ryle finds the phone number of Atlas, Lily’s childhood friend, in Lily’s phone case. Atlas had originally given her his phone number after seeing Lily’s bruised eye and Ryle’s bandaged hand from the kitchen incident. Ryle gets angry at the sight of the number and asks Lily why she has his phone number. He furiously runs out of the house with Lily following him. As they are arguing, Ryle pushes her down the stairs. Similar to before, the movie shows this incident from two points of view. From Lily’s perspective, Ryle once again apologizes and takes care of Lily right after the incident, telling her that it was an accident that she fell down the stairs and Lily, once again, believes him. During the first presentation of this incident, the viewers are a little confused as to whether Ryle pushed her down the stairs on purpose or not. However, after the flashback, which shows the reality of the situation  it is very clear that Ryle pushed her, and that he did so out of anger. 

The third main incident of domestic abuse in the movie is when Ryle finds out that the tattoo on Lily’s collarbone is about Atlas. He accuses her of having an affair with Atlas, attempts to rape her, leaving bite marks around her tattoo. It is after this incident that Lily finally starts to see Ryle’s abusive tendencies and runs away from him.

A question that is always asked when talking about those experiencing domestic violence is “Why don’t you just leave him?” or “Just break up with him, it’s that easy.” But it is just not that simple. There are so many different reasons behind a domestic violence survivor staying in an abusive relationship. In Lily’s case, we can see that the majority of her relationship with Ryle is portrayed as loving, romantic and healthy. Ryle is attractive and has a good career. He would get Lily flowers and cook her dinner. Without provocation, he is the perfect boyfriend and husband to Lily. As a result, when he gets angry and these incidents occur, Lily tries to convince herself that he did not mean to hurt her, and that it was just an accident. She believes Ryle when he tells her he was just angry or it was just an accident. Alongside this, Lily grew up seeing the abusive relationship between her parents. When Lily asks her mom why she stayed, she says it would be even harder to leave.      

When Lily finally decides to end her relationship with Ryle, she is in the delivery room, giving birth to their daughter. She asks Ryle what he would say to their daughter if she came to him asking him what to do if her boyfriend hit her, if her husband pushed her down the stairs but he said it was an accident, if he held her down and she begged him to stop, but he swore he would never do that again, if the person she loved was hurting her. Ryle said, “I would beg her to leave him. I would beg her to never go back.” At this point, the audience has seen Ryle apologize for his actions so many times. 

When Lily runs off following the instance of sexual abuse and finds out she is pregnant, Ryle comes over to Lily’s place and helps her set up the crib, tells her he is sorry again and again and begs her to come home. We have also seen Ryle’s sister Allysa, talk about how Ryle accidentally shot his brother to death when he was only six years old. The audience sees so many other sides of Ryle, sides that seem redeemable, sides that make us understand why he is unable to control his temper or gets violent at times. 

“It Ends With Us” inundates the audiences with the positive aspects of Ryle and Lily’s relationship, especially at the beginning of the movie. However, I believe this emphasis on the “good” was necessary to show what domestic violence is truly like for survivors, and provides an answer to the question of why they stay. Ryle was an amazing boyfriend, until he was not; he was an amazing husband, until he was not. We saw so much good in him, and the love he had for Lily was undeniable. Because of all the love and confusion, we, as the audience, were able to see how hard it was for Lily to leave him. 

“It Ends with Us” powerfully depicts how violent behavior and a healthy relationship cannot coexist. It does not matter if there is provocation or if it only happens when one is angry. Any acts of violence should not be tolerated, and if they are, they then spiral into cycles of domestic violence.