Redefining success: Why happiness, not accomplishments, should be students' ultimate goal
On my tour of Brandeis in April of 2021, one of the most notable points my tour guide shared was that double majors - even triple - are not uncommon amongst Brandeis students. This quickly proved to be true, as many of my friends and peers picked up two majors and multiple minors, seemingly raising the major:student ratio far beyond 1:1. After my first summer, updates of successful internship endeavors flooded my LinkedIn feed and many of my peers would — and still do — share their academic accolades on social media. In our goal-centric world as students, we commonly thrive on the pursuit and accomplishment of success, yet how often does one acknowledge that these traditional markers of academic and professional victory only amount to so much success?
I’ve seen so many of my peers’ stuffed resumes; they’re Teaching Assistants, Undergraduate Departmental Representatives, Research Assistants, interns, presidents of clubs and volunteers all at once. I’ll admit, it’s cast a shadow of doubt over my own future; have I been adequately preparing as much as I should have? But when I reflect holistically upon my life, I have come to realize two things: first, the moments that have brought me the most sustained happiness and contentment have not been professional or success-based. Secondly, the happiest people in my life are not the ones who have resumes packed with academic accolades and career milestones; they are the ones who chose to prioritize connection, love and joy.
These are the most enduring sources of fulfillment; after a lot of deliberation, I’ve come to believe that our goal on Earth is not to accumulate an ever-expanding list of accomplishments, but to simply be happy. That’s always my answer when anyone raises the question, “What is the purpose of life?” To enjoy it, of course.
There are certainly two polarized sides to this concept, however. My mother speaks to one; as a former high school valedictorian educated at both Harvard University and Stanford University, I shudder to think of what her resume at the time of her undergraduate education would look in comparison to mine. On paper, she is the epitome of success, yet when I ask her what brings her the most joy and pride, her answer is never her career or her academics. Instead, she speaks of the friendships she has nurtured over the years, the love she shares with her family, trips to the beach, and quiet moments in the backyard she has carefully cultivated over the last 15 years.
This isn’t to say that professional or academic accomplishments aren’t valuable. They provide us with structure, meaning, and, to many, joy. But when we measure our worth solely by these eternal standards, we lose sight of the fact that these accomplishments are fleeting. Titles, awards and paychecks can come, go and evolve, but the relationships we build and the love we have to give are far more enduring.
In college, especially, the pressure to succeed can be overwhelming to many; we’re taught to believe that if we work hard enough, we’ll eventually achieve happiness — once we get the perfect job, earn a certain income, or receive validation from our peers. I’d like to argue that this mindset is flawed; happiness isn’t something that appears after a certain level of success is achieved; it’s something to cultivate every day through the pursuit of meaning beyond the material.
What’s striking is that, despite all her accomplishments, my mother’s deepest pride doesn’t stem from what she’s done, but from who she’s connected with. She often reminds me to regard my academics with less seriousness — ironic, I know, coming from a Harvard graduate — but every time I bring my academic and professional woes to her, my mother reminds me how those things never brought her happiness. They certainly gave her a sense of fulfillment and purpose, but every conversation I have with her on this topic ends with a reminder to have as much fun as I possibly can while I still can.
Success, in its purest form, is about living a life that makes us happy - one filled with connection, love, and purpose. While all other accomplishments are certainly valuable in their own right, I thoroughly believe that they pale greatly in comparison.
What makes you happy? I would suggest we all look at our lives and pinpoint the pieces of it that bring us joy, whether it’s beauty in nature, the creation of art or being present with and for the ones we love. Moments of happiness are rooted in love, wonder and human connection, and in a world of resume accolade-chasing, it’s easy to neglect this. I try everyday to find something that brings me joy, and to appreciate it — often, it’s my friends.
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