What’s stopping us from achieving our highest fashion potential? I’ll cut straight to the chase: it’s because we’re not willing to be weird or look weird.

Anyone interested in, or who has followed the personal style evolution of famous individuals — particularly those known for their stylishness — will likely share one common observation: to be seen as truly glamorous, stylish and groundbreaking, one has to endure a period of being perceived as unconventional, awkward or even out-of-place. This, unfortunately, is oftentimes a necessary phase in the cultivation of one’s unique self expression, yet ultimately tends to yield impressive and, most importantly, personally-distinctive results.

I’m not suggesting that anyone go about fabricating some kind of quirky persona that feels forced or alien to their authentic selves; rather, it’s about taking risks that may momentarily make you look out of step with mainstream trends — in the name of personal expression, of course. If you spend the fashion evolution spanning the entirety of your life simply trailing the zeitgeist — waiting for someone else to “give you permission” to wear that outfit or try that makeup style, simply by doing it first — you’ll always be one step behind. You might dress objectively well, you may even receive compliments. However, commanding that inescapable presence of uniqueness and self is something that cannot exist so long as you allow yourself to exist within this bubble of safe conventionality. You’ll always be the person who followed the trendsetter, and never the one to set the “trend” for yourself.

Let’s consider, for instance, a case study of one of fashion’s most timeless icons, Marilyn Monroe. Monroe faced significant criticism in the 1950s, at the height of her fame, for sporting outfits that were perceived as provocative, daring or just plain “weird.” The styles she wore — silhouettes that, by today’s standards, might seem classic — were, at the time, met with raised eyebrows and snide remarks. She was certainly not dressing with the intent to fit in; instead, Monroe chose to dress with the intent to express herself and push boundaries. In doing so, she changed the evolution of fashion in her time. 

The harsh truth is that most original looks do not become effortlessly iconic the moment they debut; initially, there are usually only a handful of people who recognize and appreciate them. Through the eyes of everyone else, however, they’ll just look strange. If we want to cultivate a truly unique, admired style, we need to begin to embrace the possibility — even the likelihood — of being perceived as odd! To no one’s surprise, this is nowhere near an overnight process, nor is it something people can shortcut with money.

No, we cannot buy our way out of this. There isn’t a chic bag or a pair of shoes trendy enough to suddenly bestow upon us the badge of personal style authenticity. What I’ve learned from decades of fashion faux-pas and “fashionably-questionable” trial-and-error, and what I continue to learn as I explore and evolve my own style, is that we all need to experiment — and sometimes fail spectacularly! Would I call myself the best-dressed person on this entire campus? Absolutely not, but I’m pleased with the way my personal style is evolving, and it was the two years in middle school that I religiously wore nothing except for combat boots, plaid jackets and knit beanies that helped get me to this point.

And, you know what? I had a great time wearing those combat boots. Maybe I look back on the pictures of myself in them now and cringe a little, but that’s not the point. I wasn’t dressing for the approval of my future self then, nor am I now; what’s most important is that we wear what makes us happy, what makes us feel authentically like ourselves in the moment. This includes dressing for the approval of others as well, which brings me smoothly back to the focus of this piece.

One of the most difficult parts of developing our personal tastes in fashion is learning to be stylish, but not simply just trendy — they’re two completely different things. For example, you can easily buy your way into being trendy. Honestly, we all have — whether this applies with specificity, such as in the case of the notorious Nike Air Force 1’s, which dominated the closets of most adolescents and young adults from 2017 to 2021, or simply by choosing to buy a red sweater because “it’s fall, so red is trending this season!” Style, however, is the core of who you are and what you naturally gravitate towards. It implies that you’re original and have the courage to wear something completely different than what you’re being “told” to.  

This principle applies beyond clothing, to the realm of home aesthetics as well. Just as with fashion, achieving a stylish, cohesive space isn’t about the simple acquisition of trendy items designed to catch anyone’s eye, likely for a palatable price; it’s about cultivating a look that reflects your personal tastes. Let’s take my friend Katie, for example: notoriously stylish, which her room reflects. Her space in her university apartment is filled with trinkets and pieces that were thoughtfully chosen and arranged to reflect her personality and unique tastes. However, she would tell me jokes about a roommate of hers who, in admiration of her style, began purchasing identical décor for her room, piece for piece! When I visited her for a weekend and met the roommate in question, I realized she was telling the truth. Yet, despite having the same elements, it was my opinion that her roommate’s space lacked the same cohesion and personal touch. Why? Because style — whether in fashion or elsewhere — isn’t just about the pieces, it’s about how you use them and the personal consideration that goes into selecting them. 

A well-styled space, just like an outfit, shouldn’t be simply a collection of trending items, ones that someone else has “picked” for you, it should be a reflection of the person incorporating them. This requires a deeper understanding of what we individually gravitate toward, the courage to incorporate unexpected elements and the willingness to make choices that may initially seem unusual or “weird” to others. Just as with fashion, home décor requires the confidence to experiment and the patience to refine your approach until it better embodies your essence.

The entire point of trends is that they are intentionally fleeting, fueling a constant cycle of consumerism. Fashion and home décor industries often capitalize on the rapid turnover of styles to keep consumers feeling like they need to keep up … or risk being left behind! For many of us interested in fashion and looking our best, this leaves us in a perpetual state of purchasing, as today’s “must-have” item becomes tomorrow’s passé relic — let’s not remind ourselves of the antiquated “VSCO girls” and the nation-wide Hydroflask craze of 2019 (although I must concede, I do miss it a little). The result of brand-induced encouragement for individuals to refresh their wardrobes regularly, however, is that we become distracted from developing a true sense of personal style, which resists the urgency of trends and focuses on lasting, genuine self-expression; embracing elements or items that resonate with us on a personal level can break this loop. 

However, the case of the “VSCO girl” wasn’t simply a one-time occurrence. In recent years, we’ve witnessed mass incorporation of fashion for those striving to be “e-girls,” “clean-girls,” “downtown-girls,” “it-girls” and more, as each aesthetic enters — and inevitably leaves — the trending cycle. 

Lately, there’s also been an upsurge in fashion influencers who’ve taken to social media, subtly following and promoting trends through images of polished flawlessness on their profiles to attract popularity. It’s only natural to look at someone’s seemingly put-together life and wish you could be just like them; with sponsorships and brand deals, however, influencers offer you a pathway to do just that! At the expense of your individuality, of course. To develop true style, it’s essential to step away from the noise and learn to dress for ourselves and our tastes, not based on apparent perfection found online.

In fact, style isn’t about flawlessness. It’s my opinion that the true charm of one’s style often lies within its imperfections; an outfit or living space that’s a little offbeat or slightly mismatched can add an element of character and uniqueness that perfection simply can’t beat or achieve. Embracing flaws — whether through an unexpected color combination (the infamous red and pink combo, perhaps?), a vintage piece with visible wear, a mix of masculine and feminine elements or an asymmetrical accessory — creates a sense of story and authenticity. It’s details like these that showcase individuality and confidence, reminding us that style is not about conforming to a set standard, but rather about expressing who we are, complete with quirks and idiosyncrasies. Style, and what it means to us, should never just be about “following rules” — instead, we should celebrate it as an art of self-expression. 

What would I like readers to take away from this? Not the idea that following trends or choosing not to prioritize intentional self-expression are things to be discouraged, but simply that if there’s a pair of combat boots in your closet, waiting for you to find the courage to wear them, it’s my wholehearted opinion that you should, and at the first possible opportunity.