This weekend, sketch comedy group Boris’ Kitchen performed their spring semester, or rather “New Shit Show,” in the Merrick Theater. The room was full and buzzing as BK President Josh Kiel ’25 and Vice President Trisha Roy ’26 welcomed Brandeis’ very own improv group False Advertising to open the show. At the Friday viewing, they presented the audience with a short Broadway musical “Ghosts of Radio” where two storylines connected into a beautifully sung ballad “Ghost Foursome.” The absurdity continued as Kiel and Roy returned to the stage to introduce the headlining actors. Kiel whipped open a bottle of Pepsi and began to gulp down the soda. Encouraging the stunt, the audience began to chant “chug, chug, chug!” as Kiel did his best to down the beverage. The ridiculous, though energizing, moment prepared the audience for more oddities to come. 

The first sketches of the evening were incredibly performed, but it was “Maple Syrup Girl,” written by Greg Roitbourd ’26 and Lyn Stanley ’26, that captivated the audience. In a short and sweet scene the audience was introduced to the titular character who was revealed to be Canadian through a cute song and dance with the nation’s flag. Though soon after we heard this innocuous fact, we discovered Maple Syrup Girl was a ruthless libertarian as she readied her Nerf Gun to take aim at spectators. And just like that, the sketch ended. 

Another performance that enthralled the audience was “No Gum Allowed” written by Teddy Peters ’28 in which he played a naive schoolboy who mistakenly swallowed his gum. The character was convinced a “gum tree” would grow from his stomach, destroying his body. Peters’ full effort into expressions, movement and emotions had the audience believing it just might happen. 

“Good Cop, Bad Cop, Freaky Cop” was exactly as it sounds. The sketch’s physical humor counterparts Jae Fioribello ’28, as Freaky Cop, and Sophie Scribner ’28, as the criminal, saw the two mount a tabletop, eliciting a confession of murder from Scribner. The “baddest” cop in the station had done it again. 

Following the raunchy display, the audience entered a new sketch at a Western saloon. We heard the tale of a dangerous man leaving sexually transmitted diseases in his wake. “Where does he come from, where does he go,” the man goes by only one name, Cotton Eyed Joe. Written by Lauren Goodman ’27, “Cotton Eyed Joever,” is the response of a sheepish barmaid, played by Peters, using her breasts (the actor’s hands) to express shock and sadness. The particular one-up-one-down physicality of the phrase “clinker-clanker” put the audience into fits of laughter. 

BK ended the show with “We’re Trying,” a sketch written by Roy that presented three couples discussing wanting to get pregnant. One of the couples was on a strict schedule to procreate, so when their alarm went off mid-party they discretely excused themselves. However, through the backstage doors all was audible. The classic sketch rounded out the evening with a twist illuminating the audience about the concept of “mpreg” or male pregnancy as it is commonly referred to in fan fiction. 

The deranged absurdity of a BK show once again proved their hilarity to be well desired on campus. There’s no telling what material  or “new shit” we will get to see next semester.